I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
