youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
