we're blogging at a bar
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Randomize
