32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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