let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
