Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize