Yo dont text me then not text me
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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