guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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