when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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