Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
