i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
