Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
