umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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