When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Found your dick twin last night
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
