DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize