One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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