i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
