I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
