connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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