I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
