Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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