Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
