so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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