She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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