My hand turned me down
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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