sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
