I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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