Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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