what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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