yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Sext me about skeletons
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
