We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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