Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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