and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Two words: blizzard sex
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
