Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Randomize
