Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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