It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
