thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
