Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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