I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Randomize
