Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
