Have you finally orgasmed yet?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
