Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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