I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
