Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
