David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
