I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
