My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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