her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
