i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
