Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
