I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
