so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
