i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
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