i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
