Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
