is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize