She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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