we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
