Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
