what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
