420 ftw
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
