i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
