While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
