i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I have already put on my inside pants.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
